It looks like my colleague Peter is right. I hate to admit it. He loves being right. He once won a game of Risk and that's all he talked about for a month. Well, until one of his first years, who may or may not have had a little bit of a crush on him until his unfortunate encounter (not to be confused with encounter including alcohol and a poor depth perception) with alcohol and a roommate who really wanted to give him a haircut (fortunately I was able to correct that error with the cunning use of clippers), decided to nominate him for a teaching award and then we only heard about the Risk game and his teaching nomination--which he did not win. Incidentally I did win, not a teaching award. I won a free coffee in Roll-Up the Rim at Timmies, but it was at the same time as Peter found out that he did not win the teaching award, so I have called it a victory for me in that inter-collegiate competition.
So back to Peter being right. Before he left for Argentina he told us all that according to the Mayan (Aztec? oh well it's the same thing right? Haha, I hope that Peter doesn't read this. It would be like Peter saying that in the country of Africa, people who speak African all speak with clicks and ride tigers.) calendar the world is due to either end or hit the reset button and wipe out civilization as we know it. I laughed at him and told him that he had read By the Waters of Babylon a few too many times. (I bet hearing that name took you back to high school) So now, I have to admit that I am wrong.
The volcano in Iceland that just erupted, the other one that is on the verge of erupting, earthquakes, floods, mudslides, my coffee pot breaking, mine explosions and global warming are all very clear signs that the world is, without any doubt, on the verge of sending us all back into the stone age.
I know that Peter feels like this is a win for him, but the truth is that the buzz cut I gave him will make him the laughingstock of all the other cavemen. While they are all hunting saber-tooth tigers and woolly mammoths, Peter will be restricted to gathering fruit. But only the fruit that has already fallen off of the tree. The hairy little children will be given the more difficult task of climbing the trees to do the actual picking.
In fact, when Peter draws his portrait on stone tablets, the other cavemen will follow him around turning the stones over so that no future archeologists will find his art and apply generic stereotypes to all of them.
It's a good thing that Peter is in Argentina for five months. This way he will either not read this blog or, if he does, he will have found something else to brag about by the time that I see him next.
Anyhow, in the event that Peter is wrong, I should probably finish up my essays and marking, otherwise it will be me looking like an idiot picking up rotten crab-apples to eat.
Tot-ziens
