Covert Op.

In my opinion, September is by far the stealthiest of all the months. If I had to dress the months up for Hallowe'en, I would dress September as a Ninja.

Like an unsuspecting victim I lay my head on my pillow in August and when I wake up: Surprise! It's September.   Well laid plans for the summer are suddenly abandoned, unfinished, as I head back to school. Dreams of lazy days spent with my fishing rod, late breakfasts and listening to baseball are shattered by September's crushing realities. And once again I am blindsided by the fall.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the fall. I've mentioned before how much I appreciate the cool mornings and changing colours. I just feel that late fall and winter months are much more honest in what they are up to. When the first snow falls, when the first ice builds on puddles in the driveway and when the first morning arrives cold enough for me to see my breath, it's not a surprise. It's a logical transition. I will have been wearing a heavy sweater or a jacket for a week or two. I will already have my sandals packed away for more sensible shoes. I'll be prepared for frosted windows and icy toes.

September has no such scruples. No shortening days. No cool mornings. No warning of any sort. Like a cold splash of water, books are thrust into my hand and I will be herded out the door to school, frightened and confused.

But not this year. Oh no, this year will be different. This year I will get the drop on Ol' September. This year I'll catch September mid-slumber and shatter it's little dreamworld as it has done to me so many times. I will hold a vigil in front of my calendar for as long as it takes. I'll know it's fall before September does. This year it will be September who walks out the door with a fishing rod and tackle box in hand only to be greeted by the harsh sight of a school  bus at the end of its driveway.

If anyone needs me, I'll be out by the calendar.

Tot ziens.

Famous First Words

Laura and I are getting ready to move. We don't really know where just yet. All we know right now is that we are not planning to live in a basement apartment this next year if we have any say in the matter. Which I hope we do.

I have looked at several apartments in the last week and I am beginning to think that apartments are a little like used cars. The ad tells you absolutely nothing about the thing and you just have to get into it to find out if it will be a good fit.

Trust me, many are not.

I looked at an apartment last night after work and used the lemon law (dating rule where you can get up and walk out of a first date in the first five minutes if you are sure it will flop...Laura may have tried to use it on me..). It smelled like stale cigarettes, greasy deep-fried fish and unwashed clothing (the apartment, not our first date). So I gave the landlord a handshake, thanks for your time and I'll keep looking.

While, browsing through ads, I've discovered that if you see the word 'bright' in an ad it will be immediately followed by 'basement'. There are several thousand basement apartments in Peterborough and they are all bright. No one advertising a first or second floor apartment uses the word bright. Attic apartments tend to be accompanied by either 'spacious' or 'cozy'. If hydro is not included in the rent it is cheap. If the building is shared the neighbors are always quiet.

All apartments have been recently redone. Recent is a fairly subjective and bendable word in this context. For example: Elizabeth was recently crowned Queen of England, the Leafs recently won the Stanley cup, my six year old nephew recently washed his hands, etc.

All buildings are well cared for. I even came across an ad in which a homeless person on the corner of Aylmer and Simcoe was trying to sublet his cardboard box. Let me quote.

Bright Spacious Refrigerator Box

$375/m + +

Clean, recently renovated, does not in any way smell like cat urine.

Just steps from public transit, in a friendly neighborhood.

Partially furnished. Pets are OK, candles are not.

Call One-eyed Al.

I took a look at it. It wasn't bad. It was weird how quickly Al answered when I called. I barely raised my voice.

Tot ziens.