To the Republic, Laddie!!

"Oh, Africa, that's the country that speaks with clicks?"

One of my greatest delights is hearing misinformed stereotypes. I think that they are funny because they are simply an example of someone voicing their lack of knowledge either of their audience or of a subject.

For instance if I met someone from Idaho, I might ask them if the rain was going to hurt their family's potato crop this year. Now, from what I know of Idaho, that might not be too wild of a guess, but it is still somewhat uninformed.

The other night, upon hearing that I was of distant Irish descent, my host at a Christmas party offered a toast to the Republic. He felt a bit sheepish when he found out that I am from County Antrim and that my family was Protestant--not likely Catholic Republicans.

Stereotypes are funny because they often voice ideas that we have about groups of people in their most extreme form.

If you ever get the chance to ask my roommate from Redeemer, Dave DeVries, about where I am from, he will instantly light up at the opportunity to fill the world at large in on Hastings for the next fifteen minutes or so. I will begin to loosely quote Dave here.

"Hastings is just so proud of Rosy. I hear that when he graduates from University they are going to throw a parade for him. That will be the second parade in the history of Hastings. The first one was when Dave graduated from high school and got accepted into university.

Yup, Hastings sure is proud of Dave. They are putting a plaque up for him in the town centre (between the Beer Store and the hockey arena). Hastings' very first literate person. Did you know that Dave is planning to start a program to get electricity run from Toronto into Hastings? It's true. They are even thinking of getting running water so that they can have a communal indoor heated bathroom instead of the traditional squatting igloo.

Once that gets underway Dave will be inaugurated as honorary mayor because of all the fame that he brought to Hastings.

I bet that you didn't know that when Dave drives home for the holidays Hastings is transformed from a one-horse town to a town with automobiles...well automobile.

When Dave goes home they blow the yearly welfare budget on a parade with fireworks, a marching band(one old guy with bagpipes and a kid with a drum) and icecream(only in the winter so that it stays cold).

When Dave goes home they have to snowplough the one road from Toronto to Hastings so that he can drive home. They normally don't otherwise, because the sleighs ride on top of the typical 6-8 feet of snow...although in the fall and winter they do have to send the horses out to pack it down some since it is higher.

Did I ever tell you about the time that Dave won the Noble award for overcoming childhood adversity in the form of growing up in the stone age?

Dave has to write home a month in advance before he plans to head out there. Two days for the mail to reach Toronto. Fourteenish days for the mail to get through the snow to Hastings. And two weeks for the hunters to shoot enough turkeys for the week long feast that will happen when he gets home. If it is winter he has to write home twice as early. That way the mail men can deal with the hazards of winter pony riding."

That is more or less a direct quote from numerous occasions when Dave has recited his knowledge of Hastings by memory. The interesting thing about it all is that Dave has never been to Hastings. The first time that Dave told this story in 2005, he said that not many people in Hastings were literate and that it probable started snowing in October. I would hate to take Dave fishing once and then have to hang out with him in fishing  crowds for years to come. Think of the snow sharks that he would claim to have pulled out of the Hastings river by the time he tells the story for the fifth time.

I do pity the person who tries to disillusion Dave about Hastings. They may die in the attempt. I guess that it is true what they say about the Dutch--Wooden Shoes, wooden head, wouldn't listen.

Tot Ziens.